So the summer semester is finally over, tasks completed, responsibilities finished, with invitation now to relinquish, release, and perhaps recover a little. The “wounded, insecure white male lunkhead” has even done me the service of protesting his grade immediately, so I could respond, copy the dean, hear the dean’s confirmation-support of me, so to consider that expected interaction completed as well. Blessed Jesus, thank you.
So the first gift? I am reminded not everyone is in my responsibility or mandate. All of us get to keep learning, with good boundaries and prayers for Spirit’s fruit, even or especially for those who do not welcome the lessons before them. Sometimes me. In this instance, him. Go well and blessedly away.
Another gift this group of students has offered me is remembering my commitment is to the Church, not simply to them or this seminary context. It’s easy to focus overly narrowly on the political dynamics or balances of power amidst higher education when disrespected/disdained by students who refuse the gifts-invitations you have to offer. In the end, I don’t care if they like me or not–though my Enneagram Two self can whimper in the corner at feeling disconnected from such students–but I DO care about requiring students to learn hospitable behaviors while deepening their own faith devotion. Even in–or especially in–polarizing, insular congregations in which they are being unconsciously shaped by the projected authority from laity. If students can “get” that I am beholden to the church in its groundedness and Jesus-essence more than its politics shaped by empire, then I have succeeded wildly.
Finally, this is the semester that convinced me it was time to reorganize the material, both for students’ sakes and my own. Whether it is post-pandemic grief or post UMC/GMC divisiveness–or something else meta-narrative that could help me interpret this felt-wave-shift in incoming students–I finally admitted to myself that incoming students are not demonstrating sufficient capacity or capabilities for critical reflection across Christian and other-traditional wisdoms. They are so resistant, defensive, and/or entitled that their skills/muscles for curiosity, trust, wonder have atrophied beyond ready application.
I am therefore renaming the course Christian Interreligious-Intercultural Encounter, as they need their own faith identity prioritized to even potentially develop a willingness to listen beyond their own “tribe.” I am also forefronting the Hess-Hirschfield essay, “It’s More Complicated Than We Know,” which gives them the entire curricular structure on Day One. My love of inductive andragogy is sacrificed here, because students cannot withstand the cognitive dissonance. Their faith-insecurities, fear/anger then get projected onto me, and who the hell needs THAT?
Not me.
It saddens me, as I love the “a-ha!” moments that come with inductive learning, trusting Spirit is always crafting the larger and larger frame of reference, feeling the intimate welcome of Spirit when insight arrives. Incoming students seem unwilling or incapable of that kind of faith, curiosity, trust.
Or maybe I’m just weary from a hard semester, a bit wounded myself.
That could be.
In any case, rest beckons and is well deserved...
"Moments of aha..." Yes to living life and life living us.