[Rewrite, with more sleep.]
The world is an unadulterated MESS. There’s not a day goes by that doesn’t offer a gut punch for the deep-feeling humans in our midst. It’s no wonder so many of us learn to numb, retreat inside, protect and project. That said, there are also days in which mysterious currents bubble us along. One can’t help on these days but recognize prayers and visions do get answered, if not in our own sense of urgency, expectations of time. Today was the latter kind of day.
It started with an early CrossFit class and text exchanges with a spirit-friend. House-cleaning (of the ordinary type—vacuuming, etc.) and laundry for Brian’s return, preparations for an event I’m quasi-hosting with another spirit-friend on Saturday. All was to be completed before a drive Cincy-ward, first for a walk in the woods with one Fire&Water friend, then happy hour with two others. I had anticipation and hope for both ‘outings,’ but no sense of expectations, any desired outcomes. Probably not insignificant, that. These are sisters with whom I’ve learned to slow down, become present with, get curious about what may emerge when listening together.
In summer 2013, when an elder-sister asked if I wanted to open a Women Writing affiliate in Dayton, I’d had no inkling that would become my path for the next nearly ten years. As I let the idea germinate inside of me, a vision did emerge in me—circles in Dayton across the lines of tradition, race, class and more. I knew circle was the best chance at holding the stories that needed to be told, needed to be heard. So began the long and blessed journey, driving down to Silverton on I-71 south, turning right onto Montgomery Road.
As I pondered the gifts and graces of walking in nature, possibilities of listening ourselves into some collaborative work, I smiled at my GPS, leading me to the happy hour place I’d never been to before. Montgomery Road exit. Turn left, not right. Something felt so very poetic.
I arrived at the prescribed 4:30 hour, as did the F&W sister who suggested the spot. We settled into easy conversation. She observed it was almost exactly a month since the opening of the third and final retreat. The other sister of our party arrived, having battled more traffic than either of us. Drinks, small bite plates, and conversation flowed. Laughter. Lament. Some dreaming and some letting go of stories… Time flew. I was stunned it was over three hours later, leaving for home.
The lights in their eyes, smiles in tears, the fullness in my heart (and belly)…something felt Alive here, and so unexpected, so different. The vision and yearning for a new world, co-created by the deeply-listening and courageous ones, re-emerged into my awareness.
I felt hopeful.
I was reminded any vision we have does not come on our own timing.
The world is a MESS, full of pain. And days like today are no less TRUE.
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