Six days of heightened awareness, intention, invitation I have had, not intending to speak in Yoda-form but smiling to do so. Though I returned home late Saturday night, these days did not feel complete until last evening, returning home from Barbell Club.
The days began with a return to a women’s leadership circle to which I had anticipated never returning. Even as I entered the familiar retreat center, I had no idea why it felt like I was supposed to be there. Driving away Saturday morning, heading toward a day with Wisdom Keepers from around the world, I knew at least a couple “why’s.”
It was a gentler, smaller circle than it had often been, which blessed me. The executive leadership has changed, bringing the gifts of a woman who feels very Esther-like to me in the potential evolutions of this circle-community. The most obvious gift for me was simply feeling all of my new/old self in such familiar space, without a persistent sense of injury, refusal of gifts. It no longer mattered to me whether anyone there received my gifts. I was simply curious, present…which probably made it easier to approach me, if/when something was desired. I was there for broader understanding of communal her-story and my own sense of some directions in which the community could mature, if/when there were communal interest. Able to be offered with complete detachment and yet gratitude.
I was there to affirm and encourage leadership sisters, both in that her-story but also in some physical gifts (a print, a participation in restoration, song, laughter). I was there for a holy-moment to be shared with another leadership-sister (who I have been told) felt quite wounded by me, if less so me by her. In the end, by Sunday morning, it was significant for me to have been there because it instigated a good, final exchange with the Founder of the community, via text. I feel no need to return to any involvement there AND it was a good final exchange with her and her community…which it feels good to release, to allow forgiveness to continue to find me in ways I thought I had no longer needed.
Just as significant, perhaps moreso, I got to be present for a day with Wisdom Keepers from around the world at Hope Springs Institute. The Circle was called by Quanita Roberson (and her soul-sister in it, Betsy Pourvakil) for over four days, with one-day as a public-communal invitation to gather for shared-listenings and the re-dedication of the Peace Pole. The day was stunning, of course, unknowingly incomplete for me until I met with a dear spirit-friend yesterday morning. Not a part of it, yet within my circle-web, he clearly is.
So this morning, I am listening and loving the felt sense of the Wisdom Keepers coming to communal awareness of one another, some gathering in circle, some doing their most important work precisely where they are, unseen and seemingly invisible: the early unseen seeds of Hope Rising.
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