With the right compromised immune-constitution, you too could sign up... For the last eleven days, everyone around me has been on a luxury Celebrity Cruise around the Canadian Maritimes, to Quebec City and back again, complete with festive meals, premium alcohol packages, pool and/or hot-tub dips, evening shows and much regalia I’m accustomed to now on such cruises. That I look forward to on such cruises. When we got on board in Boston, I had a marvelous sensation of “coming home” to a familiar place of fun and special times with Brian. Grand anticipation.
But the cruise, for me? Well…first location of note was the Charlottetown Pharmacy for wave one of bronchial-symptom control. Then my beloved visited a Quebec City pharmacy for wave-two, because I was too gassed to walk the city with him. Next stop was then the Sydney hometown pharmacy before a shore-excursion tour of Louisburg Fortress–which for multiple reasons, I was not going to miss, come hell or highwater. Finally, and most effective, was the surrender realization–my system was not winning this battle–and so a descent to the ship’s medical-facility with their pharmacy offer of antibiotics. Sigh. (Cough).
Then a good friend texted me yesterday: “How did this cruise compare to the others you’ve enjoyed…?” Uh-oh, I felt. How do I be honest?
My visceral reaction: this has been brutal and scary. Trying to “be on vacation,” on special occasions with my beloved, while feeling increasingly sick and vulnerable. In my shrillest internal critic-voice: I was failing at our long-awaited luxury vacation, wasting money and disappointing my beloved. Unable to stop coughing. Unable to sleep. Long nights. Lots of fear.
Then my bodysoul realization: I have learned in new ways every day that I’m an incredibly blessed woman, soul-hitched to an amazing man. Though my body was the one increasingly sick, we both tended me, and one another, with overwhelming grace, compassion, patience, empathy. I grew stronger in naming what I could do and what I simply couldn’t. He grew stronger in choosing what he wanted/needed on this trip–whether it was enjoying a martini while reading Brother Lawrence or walking the historic streets and parks of Quebec City. While neither of us wished these last eleven days had been what they have been in my body, we saw again and again how beautifully knit we are. And will be, if/when one of us does face something more serious than the worst bronchitis I can remember.
So...thankful for the question, I texted back: “...this cruise has shown me so very deeply who I am soul-hitched with and what a good choice he is for me…[which means] this cruise has been the most significant for what I do-know-am. Utter gratitude.” How about that… That was a surprise for me.
Utter waste of the premium drink package, of course, which is a little amusing. I did make a fun quest of interviewing various bartenders for their favorite “virgin cocktails” or “mocktails,” which will make moderation next time more fun and enjoyable.
In the end, I learned a lot, not least of which: all a good vacation requires is a good attitude.
That I can control, easier and easier as I breathe more deeply than I have in days.
Antibiotics are wonderful.
Comments